Gordon hated me. I was an ‘appliance’ for him to control, to gain emotional fuel and for all the ‘residual benefits’ that came with it such as me running his live for him and taking responsibility for everything.
If I had not had dreams and ambitions for my children and myself, then our life would have ended up like his parents. They lived a small, sad life of misery and drudgery and his mother was the scapegoat for all his father’s anger. She was the victim John the narcissist her entire married life and I saw this whenever we were in their company. Gordon treated her the same way.
You can see them in action here.
He had no desires in life and was happy to plod along imbued in negativity and excuses not to, rubbing his face, signing and saying his most popular excuse phrase, ‘haven’t has chance.’ That should be his epitaph!
Below are some examples of the abusive texts I received from Gordon.
As you can tell by the contempt filled words, he hates me. I have learned that a narcissist cannot love anyone. This video explains why.
They show his twisted mindset, his abuse and insults.
The texts are full of transference and projection whereby the accuses me of doing what her has ACTUALLY done. Including his brainwashing of my children against me. As a narcissist he is ‘projection-heavy’ in all his writings and interactions with me.
The narcissist has a grandiose opinion of himself. His sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive him and he denies flaws in himself and if forced to blame me for his own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes.
His texts show that he is devaluing me to the children and telling them things about me to turn them against me.
I only wish I had read them properly and understood them at the time because they were telling me what he was doing with the children’s minds and what was to happen in the future.
In one text he actually talks about getting my daughter alone to tell her all about me.
4/07/07
“No problem me picking up B. I’ll have plenty of time to TACTFULLY explain the new sleeping arrangements in her home.”
His texts reveal his narcissism in full flight and contain many examples of the language he regularly used to attack me.
They also show his anger and rage when I don’t go alone with his plans. In his eyes, he is entitled to complete compliance with his wishes any anything else is a threat to his control.
The Narcissist Allegedly Welcomes Appointment With Counsellor
This letter from the narcissist tries to make out that he is so keen to work on the relationship. It is all massive lies and pretence. It is all part of the facade. When we attended counselling at 'Relate' the narcissist simply used it as a way of telling...
You Win!
This was written in February 2007, I am telling the narcissist to communicate by letter and that I won't take anymore abuse. Of cource this was a waste of my writing time as the narcissist is never going to stop being a narcissist. "You win G! There is NO getting...
What A Normal Relationship Looks Like
This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had. The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist. In short everything was missing. "Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is...
Telling The Narcissist “I Feel Erased”. “I Don’t Exist To You.”
I wrote to the narcissist - "I feel erased. I don’t exist to you." The date I wrote this is not recorded. This explains how I felt living with the Gordon, the narcissist. At the time I did not know I was living with a fragile, vulnerable, covert narcissist. The...
You Are Verbally and Emotionally Abusive To Me
This letter was written in February 2007. I gave the narcissist a copy of a book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had no idea I was being abused by a covert narcissist. At the time we were still going to counselling at Relate but it turned out...
Narcissists Cold Attitude To Children
I wrote this after watching the lack of genuine, warm affectionate interaction that the narcissist had with the children. I found the nearest piece of paper and scrawled down my feelings at that moment. I never once heard him tell the children he loved them. He was...
How The Narcissist Lies and Manipulates
This episode shows how the narcissist lies, manipulates and uses my daughter and me to arrange a weekend in Amsterdam with the new supply. He met his new 'friend' as he called her around February 2007. When this weekend took place I had no idea he had a 'friend'. It...
Parental Alienation Is Child Psychological Abuse
What is Parental Alienation in a Nutshell? The Narcissist I had the misfortune to marry has alienated by children from me. They believe everything he has ever said about me. The believe I am crazy, a mad woman, mentally deranged and beyind hope, up the pole and heaven...
Narcissist Explains Why He Abused Me
This letter written by the narcissist is full of lies, blame and contradictions. It is a fascinating insight into the mind of a narcissist as he tries to justify his abusive behaviour towards me. Apparently the narcissist wanted me to be more like him!Friday 4Th...
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