This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
I began writing a journal in 2003. I wanted to record my feelings and also the events leading up to the inevitable breakdown of my 27-year marriage to Gordon. I wanted my children to understand how hard I tried to fix the relationship and why, in the end, I could no...
"Frank Yeomans describes the difference between lies and delusion (and psychosis) within narcissistic pathology. Why do people delude themselves? What is the real purpose of narcissistic lies or delusions? How are they different from psychosis? What is their impact...
Parenthood With a Narcissist - Emotional Abandonment “People with personality disorders have to create the illusion of a relationship while protecting themselves from a real relationship which would stir up all those bad feelings”. James F Masterson. Gordon...
During the contact I had with my sister which you can read about here she told me an interesting piece of information that stunned me. Gordon has been smearing me since day one! Even at my fathers funeral he took the opportunity to tell everyone what I was like. That...
This video by Frank Yeomans explains exactly why it is impossible to have a relationship with or to help a narcissist. You can't burst the bubble that helps them to feel good about themselves. He gives such a great example of a woman who believes she is going to...
In this amazing video Dr Frank Yeomans describes Gordon's childhood experience exactly and explains why the person then develops narcissism. I witnessed this first had by watching the ways Gordon's father and mother interacted with him and their grandsons. Gordon's...
HG Tudor an expert on narcissism offers a service in which he diagnoses and identifies the type of narcissist you are dealing with. These are the questions he asked about Gordon before assessing him as the Middle Lesser Type. The Middle Lesser is described...