This letter was written in February 2007. I gave the narcissist a copy of a book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had no idea I was being abused by a covert narcissist.
At the time we were still going to counselling at Relate but it turned out that the narcissist had met BB at a party.
In typical narcissist style it took no time at all from the breakdown on his marriage and loss of family life, a business and what he called a ‘ruined life’ for him to find his next fuel supply.
We now had to fit in with his date nights with the new supply.
At this point we were attempting to work on property projects together to still earn some income,
That would never have worked as the abuse and sense of entitlement continued.
The narcissist was obsessed with B and we would arrange a meeting to try to work on a project only to have him cancel it, cut it short or spend the time on the phone to B when she called him.
I must have been mad to even consider continuing to work with him.
Of course I was to blame when it all when pear shaped in true narcissistic style.
February 2007
” Dear G
You are verbally and emotionally abusive to me.
FACT
Every behaviour described in this book you do to me, not when said or done in the heat of an argument 2 nights ago.
You told me I was ‘emotionally damaged’ and ‘beyond help’ .
This is abusive.
On Tuesday you said you were spending time with me to discuss the business but you went to see your girlfriend. (I did not know he had a girlfriend at this point).
Then on Saturday you told me you had a girl friend and said you were introducing her to the kids.
The reason I could no longer live with you that is you are abusive.
You had the opportunity to take up the offer of going to a workshop on Wednesday to help you communicate better with me.
This could have saved our marriage as all I have asked of you is that your stop being abusive – not to be perfect.
Why would Carol (Relate Counsellor) have suggested this if she didn’t think you were abusive.
All I ask is that you stop being abusive now and that you learn what abusive behaviour is.
You don’t seem to know what you are doing and you think you have only behaved in ways which show you love and care about me.
You have the choice to learn to change your behaviour to save your marriage, and possibly save your business. I won’t take anymore.”
I Am The Family Scapegoat For Narcissists
I am the oldest child of six. I am the family scapegoat and the hero child. I am 'hard' because I tell it like it is and see straight though the façade. I was the family fixer, the hero for a large part of my life - until I woke up. My father, Anthony John Townsend...
Narcissist E-Mails About Contact With Children
Gordon sent these e-mails to tell me that he was very busy in June, July and August 2008 and needed to change his times with the children. However, this contradicts his e-mails sent in January 2008 where he threatened that he was going to get an 'emergency court...
Non Stop Criticism From The Narcissist #3 – From My Journal
Criticism is all about control. Looking at these stories through the lens of narcissism it is clear to me now that they are all about Gordon wanting to gain control, maintain control, and kill any threats to his control. Gordon's narcissistic thinking means that he...
He Makes Me Feel Bad #2 – From My Journal
Here I write about how Gordon makes me feel bad and how he has destroyed my ability to have positive feelings towards him and any interactions we have. The text version is on the left and my commentary through the lens of his narcissism is on the right. Journal...
2003 Cedardale Park #1- From My Journal
This is from the journal I started in 2003. The text is on the left and my musings on what I wrote in on the right. In July 2021 I thought that Gordon has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have kept this journal together with his e-mails, letters, texts, letters to...
Mimicking By The Narcissist Is One Form Of Abuse
The Smirk is a Provocative Tool Used By The Lesser Narcissist like Gordon. Gordon likes to use non verbal abuse as a means of control and gaining fuel from me. The smirk was a provocative act he liked to use. He would smirk when I said anything and at anytime when he...
