Gordon sent these e-mails to tell me that he was very busy in June, July and August 2008 and needed to change his times with the children. However, this contradicts his e-mails sent in January 2008 where he threatened that he was going to get an ’emergency court order’ and enlist social services if I persist in what he calls ‘obstructing’ contact.

This is a lie used by him to threaten me, make me fearful of losing custody of my children and to manage his facade of being a loving father.

It is interesting to see that by June, July and August he was not so interested in his time with the children not being ‘obstructed’.

He wants to see less of them in fact.

As he states,

“I DONT HAVE TO CO OPERATE AT ALL, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AFTER THEM. YOU HAVE CUSTODY. YOU TOOK 3/4 of everything for this purpose.”

Here is that e-mail where he wants no obstruction to contact – or else!

”’However by June 2008 he has lost interest in seeing the children as a summer with his new supply BB approached.

28th -29 th  June 2008 – he needs time to catch up on personal things.

12th -13th July 2008 – he needs to help BB at the NEC

16th -17 th August – needs to recover from camping

3rd – 10th September 2008 camping with friends

Examples of Gordon’s sarcasm is demonstrated when he says,

‘I am erecting another exhibition of my girlfriends work, terrible eh? 

At this point he is calling her my ‘girlfriend’ and acquiring character traits from his girlfriend. He tries to ‘big up’ her work by implying it is an exhibition i.e. an art exhibition and not only that – it is another one!

He is correct when he says I research her work last time he went and found that her ‘work’ was a collection of greetings cards for her company called Funk Tart.

Note that he cannot help himself and adds a sarcastic ‘dig’ and provocative comment in every e-mail.  For example ..’terrible eh?” and when he says that he can look after the kids so I can go out and ‘parrdy’. 

Here is the ‘exhibition and the ‘work’ he is helping with. What is particularly annoying about the ‘work’ is the crude subject matter. When I met my partner Gordon accused me of mentally damaging the children by having a sexual relationship and other weird accusations you can read here.

For example,

04/07/07 09.15

“I am really scared about wat ur goin to do to the children with a succesion of men in their mums bed n sleeping together under their noses. You don’t care about their mental health. Its been obvious for a lond time.”

and

04/07/07 13.35

Looks like the garage again tonite for the desparate shag sesh. Please let the kids no where u r in future with all your dating men. Maybe just say going to the garage for a meeting.

At the time my youngest was six years old the ‘art’ Gordon’s new supply exhibited was the smutty, childish drawings seen here in ‘Funktart’s Guide to Boobies!’

He makes the interesting observation that as my partner has a car that he can pick the children up as I am apparently a two car household. However notice that he does not apply the same logic to himself.

His narcissistic sense of entitlement and his attitude that he is doing us a big favour shines through them all!

His emails are laced with snide remarks and sarcastic jibes just like his verbal communication. He just can’t help himself. He thinks he is so smart and clever. 

In the email below I am informing Gordon about the situation at school where my son has work experience and so I cannot be in two places at once to collect him and my daughters.

His reply speak volumes about how he sees his role as a father.

From: juliedominic@aol.co. uk

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:52:05 -0400 Subject: Holidays

To: g*************@hotmail.co.uk

Dom has work experience on 7th July for two weeks.

I cannot get him to Barnton for 9.00 as I have to take Alyx for 8.55. I am not putting her in the dumping room when there is no need and I can’t afford it anyway.

He finishes at 5.00 and will need a lift home each night.

Dom will need you to pick him up at 8.40 each day to take him to Barnton for 9.00 a.m. and pick him up at 5.00. p.m. I am not picking him up each day at 5.00. as it is extremely inconvenient and disruptive.

You made them go to school and this is part of the process.

This is what it means.

He is projecting his behaviours onto me.   He is transferring his behaviour onto me because he is subconsciously aware that he behaved that way and he finds it hard to deal with. You can learn about projection here. 

He actually treats me with permanent contempt but says that I don’t know how to speak to him!

He also smears my family which is ironic coming from him – the son of a narcissist!

When he says that I don’t have a clue how to talk to him, what he means is that I should talk to him and say the things he wants me to say AND in the way he wants me to, to avoid the narcissistic abuse he doles out if I don’t do what he says thereby making him feel that he has control.

When he says I have a partner and two cars he does not apply the same logic to his own situation i.e. he has a girlfriend and two cars!

He then exposes his infantile and irresponsible attitude towards the children when he says,

“I DONT HAVE TO CO OPERATE AT ALL, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AFTER THEM. YOU HAVE CUSTODY. YOU TOOK 3/4 of everything for this purpose.”

According to him I ‘took’ 3/4 of everything which is a lie as I was not in a position to take any funds, The funds were in the solicitors account and we had not yet gone to court settle the divorce. He was still refusing to release money for the mortgage payments. 

Then the sarcasm kicks in. He is a master at it. 

He says,” HOWEVER, BECAUSE YOU ASKED SO NICELY AND WITH SUCH RESPECT FOR WHAT I MAY BE DOING ETC.”  

This really shows his entitled and self important narcissistic traits as I am expected to know and have respect for what he is doing whereas he does not afford me the same consideration!

He uses the phrase ‘looking after them’ all the time and it demonstrates that he thinks of himself as a child care service and has no idea what being a father means.

He finishes with, ‘I MAY OFFER TO PICK DOM UP,’ as if he is doing Dom a favour and using his usual equivocal language.  

Through out this you can see that his narcissism only allows him to see the children as appliances and weapons to use against me.

He talks about them as if they don’t exist.

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