This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
Relationship
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
I Am The Family Scapegoat For Narcissists
I am the oldest child of six. I am the family scapegoat and the hero child. I am 'hard' because I tell it like it is and see straight though the façade. I was the family fixer, the hero for a large part of my life - until I woke up. My father, Anthony John Townsend...
Narcissist E-Mails About Contact With Children
Gordon sent these e-mails to tell me that he was very busy in June, July and August 2008 and needed to change his times with the children. However, this contradicts his e-mails sent in January 2008 where he threatened that he was going to get an 'emergency court...
Non Stop Criticism From The Narcissist #3 – From My Journal
Criticism is all about control. Looking at these stories through the lens of narcissism it is clear to me now that they are all about Gordon wanting to gain control, maintain control, and kill any threats to his control. Gordon's narcissistic thinking means that he...
He Makes Me Feel Bad #2 – From My Journal
Here I write about how Gordon makes me feel bad and how he has destroyed my ability to have positive feelings towards him and any interactions we have. The text version is on the left and my commentary through the lens of his narcissism is on the right. Journal...
2003 Cedardale Park #1- From My Journal
This is from the journal I started in 2003. The text is on the left and my musings on what I wrote in on the right. In July 2021 I thought that Gordon has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have kept this journal together with his e-mails, letters, texts, letters to...
Mimicking By The Narcissist Is One Form Of Abuse
The Smirk is a Provocative Tool Used By The Lesser Narcissist like Gordon. Gordon likes to use non verbal abuse as a means of control and gaining fuel from me. The smirk was a provocative act he liked to use. He would smirk when I said anything and at anytime when he...
