Knowing what a narcissist is, and understanding how they behave is very useful as this knowledge will save you much time and misery as you go through life.
In the videos here there are different explanations from different sources.
The commonality between all narcissist is that narcissists have no emotional empathy, shun introspection, are hypersensitive to criticism, and seek to control by using insults, blame, lies, denial, manipulation, stonewalling and a whole host of other abusive strategies; physical and emotional.
It is the lack of emotional empathy which allows narcissists to behave the way they do.
All narcissists need fuel by way of an emotional response from a victim which can be positive or negative. Either way, an emotional reaction by the victim is fuel and gives the narcissist control.
If I had know this information sooner I would have saved myself and my precious children from the traumatic experience we all lived through and the long term damage living with a narcissist has caused to my family.
HG Tudor explains the different schools, subschools and cadres of narcissism.
Some types of narcissism is easier to spot than others. Narcissism is not low self esteem. Narcissists have a conceit of themselves which is sometimes obvious but is often hidden behind passive aggressive behaviour in the ‘fragile’ narcissist.
This conceit manifests in different ways depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. The narcissist is not the stereotypical alpha male – vain, full of themselves, always at the gym.
This is just one flavour.
HG Tudor explains that narcissism is a self defence mechanism.
The narcissist seeks out four ‘primary aims’ of;-
1. Control – getting it, keeping it, and rejecting threats to control.
2. Fuel – the power needed by a narcissist from an appliance.
3. Acquisition of character traits – stolen from the victim.
4. Gaining residual benefits – such as somewhere to live, money, chores done, looked after, mothered, sex, etc.
The narcissist MUST always have control and this is the over arching aim of all the narcissists actions and behaviours.
Every interaction with a narcissist is perceived by them as either giving them control or threatening them. The narcissist sees you as either for them or against them, black or white, controlled or a threat to control.
When you threaten the control the narcissism activates to tackle the threat.
When the lesser and mid-range narcissist exercises control they don’t know that, that is what they are doing.
The narcissist sees everything through the distortion field of narcissism – is what’s going on giving me control and if not there is a problem.
Any threat to control is dealt with by anger, passive or overt, insults, threats, abuse and the other control mechanisms used by the narcissist.
Narcissists Don’t Love Their Children
The narcissist cannot love anyone and that included their children. It is all facade management by the narcissist to make everyone think he loves his children. Narcissists are not capable of empathy. The narcissist claims in writing on a couple of occasions to care...
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist is Impossible
The narcissist wrote a letter pretending to be a doting and caring father. There are quotes from his missive on the right. In reality the narcissists using of the children as tools of manipulation and control started immediately. In fact it started as soon as they...
Facade Building By The Narcissist
This is the letter G the narcissist wrote to present the facade that he wanted to see the children. It is all lies! It's all a facade!Text Version "September 2006 Gordon’s Letter about Wanting Contact With Children Reassessed after the Holidays. I would like to spend...
Narcissists Cold Attitude To Children
I wrote this after watching the lack of genuine, warm affectionate interaction that the narcissist had with the children. I found the nearest piece of paper and scrawled down my feelings at that moment. I never once heard him tell the children he loved them. He was...
How The Narcissist Lies and Manipulates
This episode shows how the narcissist lies, manipulates and uses my daughter and me to arrange a weekend in Amsterdam with the new supply. He met his new 'friend' as he called her around February 2007. When this weekend took place I had no idea he had a 'friend'. It...
Parental Alienation Is Child Psychological Abuse
What is Parental Alienation in a Nutshell? The Narcissist I had the misfortune to marry has alienated by children from me. They believe everything he has ever said about me. The believe I am crazy, a mad woman, mentally deranged and beyind hope, up the pole and heaven...
