Knowing what a narcissist is, and understanding how they behave is very useful as this knowledge will save you much time and misery as you go through life.
In the videos here there are different explanations from different sources.
The commonality between all narcissist is that narcissists have no emotional empathy, shun introspection, are hypersensitive to criticism, and seek to control by using insults, blame, lies, denial, manipulation, stonewalling and a whole host of other abusive strategies; physical and emotional.
It is the lack of emotional empathy which allows narcissists to behave the way they do.
All narcissists need fuel by way of an emotional response from a victim which can be positive or negative. Either way, an emotional reaction by the victim is fuel and gives the narcissist control.
If I had know this information sooner I would have saved myself and my precious children from the traumatic experience we all lived through and the long term damage living with a narcissist has caused to my family.
HG Tudor explains the different schools, subschools and cadres of narcissism.
Some types of narcissism is easier to spot than others. Narcissism is not low self esteem. Narcissists have a conceit of themselves which is sometimes obvious but is often hidden behind passive aggressive behaviour in the ‘fragile’ narcissist.
This conceit manifests in different ways depending on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. The narcissist is not the stereotypical alpha male – vain, full of themselves, always at the gym.
This is just one flavour.
HG Tudor explains that narcissism is a self defence mechanism.
The narcissist seeks out four ‘primary aims’ of;-
1. Control – getting it, keeping it, and rejecting threats to control.
2. Fuel – the power needed by a narcissist from an appliance.
3. Acquisition of character traits – stolen from the victim.
4. Gaining residual benefits – such as somewhere to live, money, chores done, looked after, mothered, sex, etc.
The narcissist MUST always have control and this is the over arching aim of all the narcissists actions and behaviours.
Every interaction with a narcissist is perceived by them as either giving them control or threatening them. The narcissist sees you as either for them or against them, black or white, controlled or a threat to control.
When you threaten the control the narcissism activates to tackle the threat.
When the lesser and mid-range narcissist exercises control they don’t know that, that is what they are doing.
The narcissist sees everything through the distortion field of narcissism – is what’s going on giving me control and if not there is a problem.
Any threat to control is dealt with by anger, passive or overt, insults, threats, abuse and the other control mechanisms used by the narcissist.
Narcissist Switches Phone Off
"I would hope you would encourage the kids to phone me at any time and as often as they like." The quote above was written by the narcissist shortly after he left in May 2006. Here is the original document in G's own fair hand because you know how narcissists like to...
Children Are Pawns To The Narcissistic Parent
Children are nothing more than tools to the narcissistic parent. As the narcissist has no empathy or love children are weapons in the narcissists game. This video explains how a narcissist thinks about children. This is the most painful part of being snared by a...
