Gordon hated me. I was an ‘appliance’ for him to control, to gain emotional fuel and for all the ‘residual benefits’ that came with it such as me running his live for him and taking responsibility for everything.
If I had not had dreams and ambitions for my children and myself, then our life would have ended up like his parents. They lived a small, sad life of misery and drudgery and his mother was the scapegoat for all his father’s anger. She was the victim John the narcissist her entire married life and I saw this whenever we were in their company. Gordon treated her the same way.
You can see them in action here.
He had no desires in life and was happy to plod along imbued in negativity and excuses not to, rubbing his face, signing and saying his most popular excuse phrase, ‘haven’t has chance.’ That should be his epitaph!
Below are some examples of the abusive texts I received from Gordon.
As you can tell by the contempt filled words, he hates me. I have learned that a narcissist cannot love anyone. This video explains why.
They show his twisted mindset, his abuse and insults.
The texts are full of transference and projection whereby the accuses me of doing what her has ACTUALLY done. Including his brainwashing of my children against me. As a narcissist he is ‘projection-heavy’ in all his writings and interactions with me.
The narcissist has a grandiose opinion of himself. His sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive him and he denies flaws in himself and if forced to blame me for his own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes.
His texts show that he is devaluing me to the children and telling them things about me to turn them against me.
I only wish I had read them properly and understood them at the time because they were telling me what he was doing with the children’s minds and what was to happen in the future.
In one text he actually talks about getting my daughter alone to tell her all about me.
4/07/07
“No problem me picking up B. I’ll have plenty of time to TACTFULLY explain the new sleeping arrangements in her home.”
His texts reveal his narcissism in full flight and contain many examples of the language he regularly used to attack me.
They also show his anger and rage when I don’t go alone with his plans. In his eyes, he is entitled to complete compliance with his wishes any anything else is a threat to his control.
He Makes Me Feel Bad #2 – From My Journal
Here I write about how Gordon makes me feel bad and how he has destroyed my ability to have positive feelings towards him and any interactions we have. The text version is on the left and my commentary through the lens of his narcissism is on the right. Journal...
2003 Cedardale Park #1- From My Journal
This is from the journal I started in 2003. The text is on the left and my musings on what I wrote in on the right. In July 2021 I thought that Gordon has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have kept this journal together with his e-mails, letters, texts, letters to...
Mimicking By The Narcissist Is One Form Of Abuse
The Smirk is a Provocative Tool Used By The Lesser Narcissist like Gordon. Gordon likes to use non verbal abuse as a means of control and gaining fuel from me. The smirk was a provocative act he liked to use. He would smirk when I said anything and at anytime when he...
When I Thought The Narcissist Has Passive Aggressive PD!
I came across a website about Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder which fitted the behaviours of Gordon perfectly! It was the 16th July 2006 It was a eureka moment for me! I felt validated and started to understand what PAPD was and that it is a well known type of...
Narcissist Wants Full Custody Of The Children
Gordon wants residency of the children so he is awarded most of the money by the court. Eighteen months after Gordon left for the final time in may 2006, he was still causing problems. He wanted as much money as he could get and was even prepared to 'apply for...
Smearing Lies Manipulation – The Narcissists Relatives
On the 4th February 2008, eighteen months after Gordon left he was still playing games of control and manipulation using the money that we had in the solicitors account. He used the children as weapons in his strategy and tried to get me to agree to half custody and...
Narcissist Manipulation Using His Children To Control
Gordon loved to use the children to manipulate and control me. The letter I wrote to him below shows an example of one of the ways he achieved this. During one of Gordons usual contact times their badminton coach had a spare session and asked if the children would...
Gordon’s Text Messages Flip Book
Gordon's Text Messages Flip BookRead More About Narcissism
The Narcissist Uses Children As Weapons Against Me
In 2006 the narcissist had finally left. I still had to have contact with him and, for the sake of the children I tried my best to make things easy and 'normal' but I was no longer willing to put up with abuse. Every time he collected or dropped the children back he...
Read More About Narcissism
