Gordon hated me. I was an ‘appliance’ for him to control, to gain emotional fuel and for all the ‘residual benefits’ that came with it such as me running his live for him and taking responsibility for everything.
If I had not had dreams and ambitions for my children and myself, then our life would have ended up like his parents. They lived a small, sad life of misery and drudgery and his mother was the scapegoat for all his father’s anger. She was the victim John the narcissist her entire married life and I saw this whenever we were in their company. Gordon treated her the same way.
You can see them in action here.
He had no desires in life and was happy to plod along imbued in negativity and excuses not to, rubbing his face, signing and saying his most popular excuse phrase, ‘haven’t has chance.’ That should be his epitaph!
Below are some examples of the abusive texts I received from Gordon.
As you can tell by the contempt filled words, he hates me. I have learned that a narcissist cannot love anyone. This video explains why.
They show his twisted mindset, his abuse and insults.
The texts are full of transference and projection whereby the accuses me of doing what her has ACTUALLY done. Including his brainwashing of my children against me. As a narcissist he is ‘projection-heavy’ in all his writings and interactions with me.
The narcissist has a grandiose opinion of himself. His sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive him and he denies flaws in himself and if forced to blame me for his own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes.
His texts show that he is devaluing me to the children and telling them things about me to turn them against me.
I only wish I had read them properly and understood them at the time because they were telling me what he was doing with the children’s minds and what was to happen in the future.
In one text he actually talks about getting my daughter alone to tell her all about me.
4/07/07
“No problem me picking up B. I’ll have plenty of time to TACTFULLY explain the new sleeping arrangements in her home.”
His texts reveal his narcissism in full flight and contain many examples of the language he regularly used to attack me.
They also show his anger and rage when I don’t go alone with his plans. In his eyes, he is entitled to complete compliance with his wishes any anything else is a threat to his control.
How He Alienated My Children
He gradually and systematically alienated my children against me over many years. In fact since the day they were born they unconsciously learned that I was a valueless nothing to their father. The irony of that is, that I did EVERYTHING, made all the decisions and...
Covert Malignant Narcissist – Human in Name Only
Gordon behaved exactly the way this video describes. The quote in the video which says that a covert malignant narcissist does not know love and is, " a human in name only" is completely accurate. In my journal I write about him being an empty shell and having no...
The Narcissist Was Only With Me For Residual Benefits
Gordon hated me with a deep contempt for everything about me. This video called 'You are a toaster' explains that to a narcissist I only realised the true extent of his hatred recently when he has stooped so low as to brainwash my daughters into hating me. That...
Contradiction and Countering By The Narcissist
Your content goes here. Edit or remove this text inline or in the module Content settings. You can also style every aspect of this content in the module Design settings and even apply custom CSS to this text in the module Advanced settings.Your content goes here. Edit...
My Story – The Early Years
I began writing a journal in 2003. I wanted to record my feelings and also the events leading up to the inevitable breakdown of my 27-year marriage to Gordon. I wanted my children to understand how hard I tried to fix the relationship and why, in the end, I could no...
Poor Me Face Rubbing
Gordon was a 'poor me' victim type of narcissist. He sighed, huffed and puffed and rubbed his face a lot. This gesture expressed his whole attitude to life! It's funny now but not at the time, it drove me mad and had such a detrimental effect on our family life and...
Living With The Negativity
One of the worst and damaging things about living with a narcissist was the cloud of negativity he lived under. He wanted to drive any enthusiasm and joie de vivre out of me. I was punished because, he told me, I had to be like HIM! Your content goes here. Edit or...
Devaluation By The Narcissist
The worst part of living with Gordon was his devaluation of me. He treated me with contempt. I did not exist to him as a person with feelings, emotions, and human needs. He did not actually 'see' me. The journal I wrote in 2003 describes what it felt like...
Why Narcissists Have No Empathy
Gordon has no empathy. Any demonstration of 'empathy' was false and used as facade management to fool people into thinking he is 'nice'. Sam Vakin calls this 'cold empathy' which means that the narcissist sees that you are reacting is a certain way and uses...
Read More About Narcissism
