This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
Relationship
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
You Are Verbally and Emotionally Abusive To Me
This letter was written in February 2007. I gave the narcissist a copy of a book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had no idea I was being abused by a covert narcissist. At the time we were still going to counselling at Relate but it turned out...
Narcissists Cold Attitude To Children
I wrote this after watching the lack of genuine, warm affectionate interaction that the narcissist had with the children. I found the nearest piece of paper and scrawled down my feelings at that moment. I never once heard him tell the children he loved them. He was...
How The Narcissist Lies and Manipulates
This episode shows how the narcissist lies, manipulates and uses my daughter and me to arrange a weekend in Amsterdam with the new supply. He met his new 'friend' as he called her around February 2007. When this weekend took place I had no idea he had a 'friend'. It...
Parental Alienation Is Child Psychological Abuse
What is Parental Alienation in a Nutshell? The Narcissist I had the misfortune to marry has alienated by children from me. They believe everything he has ever said about me. The believe I am crazy, a mad woman, mentally deranged and beyind hope, up the pole and heaven...
Narcissist Explains Why He Abused Me
This letter written by the narcissist is full of lies, blame and contradictions. It is a fascinating insight into the mind of a narcissist as he tries to justify his abusive behaviour towards me. Apparently the narcissist wanted me to be more like him!Friday 4Th...
Text Messages From The Narcissist Show His Contempt
Gordon hated me. I was an 'appliance' for him to control, to gain emotional fuel and for all the 'residual benefits' that came with it such as me running his live for him and taking responsibility for everything. If I had not had dreams and ambitions for my children...
