This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had. 

The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist. 

In short everything was missing. 

“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.

I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.

I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.

My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.

I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.

Relationship

I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).

Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.

How does a person show interest in things?

  1. Initiates a conversation about it.
  2. Read a book, magazine on the topic
  3. Find out information on it by talking, discussing.

How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?

  1. Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
  2. Talking to the person (not about work)
  3. Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
  4. Knowing what the other person likes and need first
  5. Saying …”How do you feel about”

I have given up doing all the above.

Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?

Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.

I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.

Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”

Narcissists Don’t Love Their Children

Narcissists Don’t Love Their Children

The narcissist cannot love anyone and that included their children. It is all facade management by the narcissist to make everyone think he loves his children. Narcissists are not capable of empathy.  The narcissist claims in writing on a couple of occasions to care...

Narcissists Lies Abuse Smearing Triangulation

Narcissists Lies Abuse Smearing Triangulation

Divorcing a narcissist is a nightmare. Divorcing a narcissist when you don't know they're a narcissist is even worse!The narcissist  left in May 2006. An account of that incident is described in my journal here. I had no idea what I would be up against.  I had no idea...

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist is Impossible

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist is Impossible

The narcissist wrote a letter pretending to be a doting and caring father. There are quotes from his missive on the right. In reality the narcissists using of the children as tools of manipulation and control started immediately. In fact it started as soon as they...

Perverted Texts From The Narcissists Sick Mind

Perverted Texts From The Narcissists Sick Mind

The narcissist found a new supply a few months after he left because, he said, he didn't want to be on his own. In February 2007 he met the new appliance BB who he called his 'friend'. Whereas I did not even contemplate a relationship for over a year. I focussed on...

Facade Building By The Narcissist

Facade Building By The Narcissist

This is the letter G the narcissist wrote to present the facade that he wanted to see the children. It is all lies! It's all a facade!Text Version "September 2006 Gordon’s Letter about Wanting Contact With Children Reassessed after the Holidays. I would like to spend...

Abusive Texts From The Narcissist

Abusive Texts From The Narcissist

Not satisfied with abusing me verbally, emotionally, not content with laughing at me, sniggering, mimicking, ridiculing etc. the narcissist also likes to vent his anger, venom and hatred of me in texts and e-mails You can read some of them here which I downloaded from...