Not satisfied with abusing me verbally, emotionally, not content with laughing at me, sniggering, mimicking, ridiculing etc. the narcissist also likes to vent his anger, venom and hatred of me in texts and e-mails

You can read some of them here which I downloaded from my phone.  The spellings and other errors are copied just as the narcissist sent them.

I have made individual posts on some of them which explains the back story to the text.

These texts are a good insight into the narcissistic abuse I had to endure day in, day out and the way a narcissist thinks about a person they are supposed to love.

16/05/07 13.30

You r a bully blackmailer control freak. Apologise. You blackmail me with a carrot and stick of a business opportunity. You blackmail and control me using the kids as weapons . I don’t care about a business with you and more. Im not being controlled by u. The kids will gro to hate u if you try to turn them against me.


17/05/07 23.29

I am fed up agreeing contact time with you only 4 u to change it first time I do something u don’t approve of. The kids don’t know where they are and are very unsettled and your constant changes are not helping. Tell me wen u want me to have them.


01/06/07 08.23

Morning.Gud to cu havin a great laugh with ur family and friends stayin. I don’t mean to sound PA and you may say its non o my busines but please reassure me that when you have people u don’t know (I,e, Canadians ) stayin with you that the kids are ok. Thanks.

02/07/07 09.27

I wont ask u again but will u pic b up from airport on thurs. To allow me to do work.

02/07/07 13.56

Sorry 4 kids but in lite of documents today. Because ur not prepared to let me have half custody I need to revert to documents times. Until court decides its 5.30 till 8.30 mon and wed eves and 10amsat to 8.30 pm sun.

04/07/07 09.06

No prob. Me picking up B. I”11 have plenty of time to TACTFULLY explain the new sleeping arrangements in her home.

04/07/07 09.15

I am really scared about wat ur goin to do to the children with a succesion of men in their mums bed n sleeping together under their noses. You don’t care about their mental health. Its been obvious for a lond time. 

04/7/07 10.23

Im doin my job are u doin yours? 1E teaching the kids in case you have forgotten. Or RU in your bedroom doin your own thing.

04/07/07 13.35

Looks like the garage again tonite for the desparate shag sesh. Please let the kids no where u r in future with all your dating men. Maybe just say going to the garage for a meeting.

04/07/07 15.34

My heart breaks 4 A  stuk in her room by herself wen she cud bein school.


04/07/07 16.17

Never acuse me of not makin enuf cash for u. I lose a days pay while u tidy for and feed ur live in boyfriend and. Holiday in Lapland Scotland and usa . Buy laminate floors and champagne in restaurantes 4 them. You need 4 fifths of equiltryto maintain ‘the kids’ lifestyle.

04/07/07 16.24

In case u were wondering- yes I am livid. At the way the kids are being treated by you. I fully undestand wat u meant wen u saids its now me time

04/07/07 19.16

I feel sick wen I think of the way u ye shown our kids how sexual relationships work.

06/09/07 17.20

How did I know u wud crit the schools and say it was better doin nothing with u at home

10/09/07 13.48

Can u pic B and A  up at 3.10. Please cos a concrete delivery late and arriving between 3.30 to 4 at.

11/09/07 14. 04

Bit busy in wins ford. Can u pic up A  and 3.15?

19/09/07 23.00

Yes tell A I wud like to tale her- but I was goin to work late till cos wate 2 hours on school run. I’ll tell A that if
you save ME time by picking her up from school – I”11 take her at 6 and finish tennis early so she can get to bed not too late.

20/09/07 18.05

Hope uv time to deal with the whole closing of the company cos I havnt im movin out in 7 days and tryin to work. Run house like to school badminton etc.

21/09/07 08.45

 Your bein cruel to b she wants to get there in good time like her friends not dash in last min

25/09/07 15.40

Yes I understand- kids deserve all the money and you r with them most so u can have everyring too- very convenient. Oh and I deserve nothing cos erm erm- I didn’t do what I was told by u!

13/10/07 23.22

Hope ur havin a great and free childless w.e.. Nice havin all that time to yourself to do exactly wat u like. Oh and it must be great doing exactly wat you like in the week too with kids at school and nothing to do. Pity you try to foil every attempts I have at havin days to myself


18/10/07 09.34

No uv got that wrong I usualy do tenis thurs I sed to them I mite b able to do one per month.

13/11/07 21.39

Sorry no chance U will have to make other arrangements

02/12/07 13 08

How about me carrying on with my day and u and M fixing toilet. For heavens sake u r supposes to be a super property developer but every time thers a prob. You come to me to sort it. I’ve done it for years with no thanks only insults from you. I have NO TIME LEFT AND YOU HAVE EVERYDAY TO YOURSLF AND EVERY WEEKEND.

02/12/07 13.12

I cant pick kids up tomorrow Afternoon solicitors appointment

02/12/07 19.00

Hope you had a great time. Just letting you kno – can’t have the kids next w.e. (yes I kno it measn I don’t care about them) Working on renovation has to be finished by Xmas and I have a party sat nite( yes I knw you don’t care wat I’m doin_ Have a relaxing weekend. Kids back around 5.30 Sun.

03/12/07 12.35

You joke 7 yes seven holidays in the last 12 months each time with clothe.s champagne entertaining and putting up and feeding numerous guests sunbed beauty treatments- court mite be interested in wht you have so much debt.

06/12/07 09.48

We have come up with a solution to finances which might like cos it gives u more than 75% of everything. My solicitor is writing to yours.                       (NOTE I have heard nothing yet.)

05/01/08 16.55

What is goin on with access? Am I a convenient drop of the hat childminder or have we a clear plan that we stick to for the benefit of the kids. I take it u r using me wen u need a nite with mark or them ferrying somewhere. U don’t care about their feelings.

16.01.08 18.17

Can A stay with me tonite?      (NOTE It was the night of M’s Birthday and he has never asked this before)

23/01/08 21.35

I can’t leave Al to put herself to bed on a school night. She is 7 for gods sake! Shes stayin with me. I’ll take her to school.

26/ 01/08 21.39

Im bringin the children home at 6 tomorrow


Im sorry but something is clouding your judgement. Wat Ida wen I am not with kids or at work has nothing to do with you. Any more you can not try to punish me & kids cos u disapprove.

I don’t have to give u details of my private life but for your info her eldest was out on a sleepover and other were in bed when I arrived, so u talking rubbish. You claim to talk for our kids but they r scared to disagree with u .0 r playing a dangerous and unfair game with to try to justify your hostility to my relationship.

Kids will lose respect 4 u if you keep trying to brainwash them to think I don’t love them. They know the truth they’ve not got vision clouded by insecurity, financial stress, desire to control an ex husband who has has been controlled for years.

Everytime I give you info and truth u twist it in ur illogical way. Why gooseberry? Is it not possible we cud ye enjoyed each others company

Its so pathetic. One hour with old friends who I saw 2 years ago and whomever not beemn invited to join on the last 3 or 4 occasions u met.Is it really about old friends or your need to control me Jude and David would understand and 1 will give them a ring if you give me their number

This makes u sound like an immature jeleous woman. Is that what you are going to do when you get a man snog in front of the kids

You certainly have the power to control. Anytime you think I have plans for my time you offer me an hour at short notice with the kids and if I don’t comply I don’t love my kids . You think everyone can’t see your game your anger and bitterness is in danger of making you a very lonely person.

You’re a bully blackmailer control freak/ Apologise. You blackmail me with a carrot and stick of business opportunity. You blackmail me and control me using th e kids and weapon. I don’t care about business with you anymore Ern not being controlled by you. The kids will grow to hate u if you try to turn them against me. PLEASE RMEMBER UR TOWNSEND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPSAND DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES.

I ADMIT I am someone who can say things to hurt – especially when the bully controller is blackmailing using the kids and the kids future as main weapon of control. Look where ur tactics have got u to date. Please don’t make it worse.

You don’t get it do you? You don’t even notice u ye called me those things AND A LOT MORE BUT THAT’S OKAY

My Story – The Early Years

My Story – The Early Years

 I began writing a journal in 2003. I wanted to record my feelings and also the events leading up to the inevitable breakdown of my 27-year marriage to Gordon. I wanted my children to understand how hard I tried to fix the relationship and why, in the end, I could no...

Narcissism Lies and Delusions

Narcissism Lies and Delusions

"Frank Yeomans describes the difference between lies and delusion (and psychosis) within narcissistic pathology.  Why do people delude themselves? What is the real purpose of narcissistic lies or delusions? How are they different from psychosis? What is their impact...

Parenthood With A Narcissist

Parenthood With A Narcissist

Parenthood With a Narcissist - Emotional Abandonment “People with personality disorders have to create the illusion of a relationship while protecting themselves from a real relationship which would stir up all those bad feelings”.           James F Masterson. Gordon...

Smearing By The Narcissist

Smearing By The Narcissist

During the contact I had with my sister which you can read about here she told me an interesting piece of information that stunned me. Gordon has been smearing me since day one! Even at my fathers funeral he took the opportunity to tell everyone what I was like. That...

How Do You Know Your Niece is A Narcissist?

How Do You Know Your Niece is A Narcissist?

This video by Frank Yeomans explains exactly why it is impossible to have a relationship with or to help a narcissist. You can't burst the bubble that helps them to feel good about themselves. He gives such a great example of a woman who believes she is going to...

Frank Yeomans Describes Gordons UpBringing

Frank Yeomans Describes Gordons UpBringing

In this amazing video Dr Frank Yeomans describes Gordon's childhood experience exactly and explains why the person then develops narcissism. I witnessed this first had by watching the ways Gordon's father and mother interacted with him and their grandsons. Gordon's...

HG Tudor Narc Detector

HG Tudor Narc Detector

HG Tudor an expert on narcissism offers a service in which he diagnoses and identifies the type of narcissist you are dealing with. These are the questions he asked about Gordon before assessing him as the Middle Lesser Type.   The Middle Lesser is described...