This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
Relationship
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
A Description of The Narcissist- How He Thinks
This video describes how Gordon - a lesser narcissist thinks. The way a particular narcissist behaves is dependent on their cognitive ability, level of functioning and level of malign outlook. Gordon is a carbon copy of his father with more passive - aggressive...
The Narcissist Shows Physical Violence
The narcissist only showed physical violence on one occasion. It was in April 2007 after Gordon meet his new 'friend' as he called her at that time. He wanted to see the children so he could play happy families with her and her three children. We already had plans so...
What Is Narcissism?
Knowing what a narcissist is, and understanding how they behave is very useful as this knowledge will save you much time and misery as you go through life. In the videos here there are different explanations from different sources. The commonality between all...
The Narcissist Explains Why We Divorced!
It's all my fault! This is a great example of blame and lack of accountability. Gordon says we split up because I misinterpret the things he does and always see the worst interpretation of what he does. He says he is 'worried' and 'defensive' because I criticise him....
Explaining My Views On Mediation to The Narcissist
At the start of the divorce it was suggested by my solicitor that I try mediation with Gordon to save us both large solicitors fees and reduce conflict. Not knowing that he was a narcissist I thought it might work although by now I had experienced first hand his...
Manipulation and Blackmail Using The Children
Gordon manipulates and blackmails me and the children for financial gain. On 20th January 2008 a year after the divorce was filed, Gordon is still arguing over the money. ‘50:50 or nothing’ he states which is why he refuses to release the money for the mortgage or...
