I wrote this to the narcissist when there was no point in carrying on with counselling. His narcissism got worse as he had someone to abuse me in front of. Gordon lied, denied, accused me of being a ‘mad woman’, sniggered and laughed his way through the session. 

He had met his new supply which I was unaware of at the time so he had no intention of fixing things.  Not that this is possible as he is a narcissist.

The point of counselling was to attempt to improve things so that we can communicate more effectively for the children and to expedite a better divorce.

But it was counter productive and a waste of time. 

Journal – Introduction

Journal – Introduction

Introduction I began writing this journal in 2003. I wanted to record my feelings and also the events leading up to the inevitable breakdown of my 27-year marriage to Gordon. I wanted my children to understand how hard I tried to fix the relationship and why, in the...

Does He Deliberately Act To Hurt? #4 From My Journal

Does He Deliberately Act To Hurt? #4 From My Journal

When I wrote this journal I thought he deliberately said and did things to hurt me. What I have learned is that because of the type of narcissist he is, he has no awareness of how he behaves or the effect it has on others. The clusters of behaviours he uses are those...

Non Stop Criticism From The Narcissist #3 – From My Journal

Non Stop Criticism From The Narcissist #3 – From My Journal

Criticism is all about control.  Looking at these stories through the lens of narcissism it is clear to me now that they are all about Gordon wanting to gain control, maintain control, and kill any threats to his control. Gordon's narcissistic thinking means that he...

He Makes Me Feel Bad #2 – From My Journal

He Makes Me Feel Bad #2 – From My Journal

Here I write about how Gordon makes me feel bad and how he has destroyed my ability to have positive feelings towards him and any interactions we have. The text version is on the left and my commentary through the lens of his narcissism is on the right. Journal...

2003 Cedardale Park #1- From My Journal

2003 Cedardale Park #1- From My Journal

This is from the journal I started in 2003. The text is on the left and my musings on what I wrote in on the right. In July 2021 I thought that Gordon has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have kept this journal together with his e-mails, letters, texts, letters to...

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