I wrote to the narcissist – “I feel erased. I don’t exist to you.”  The date I wrote this is not recorded.

This explains how I felt  living with the Gordon, the narcissist.

At the time I did not know I was living with a fragile, vulnerable, covert narcissist.

The drawing was made by my 3 year old daughter.

” I Can’t Get Through To You 

You define my experiences and seem to fail to grasp that.

I am a person with my own reality.

I feel erased.

I don’t exist to you.

Trying to maintain a relationship with you leaves me exhausted and in mental anguish and emotional pain.

You don’t want to hear me, understand me, nor even WANT to understand me.

You have to be right.

You tell me what I think and who I am.

Imply I am mad when I don’t agree.

You feel attacked when asked a question.

You don’t seem to hear me.

You avoid responsibility.

You are unable to be straight with people.

The typical passive aggressive man has not dealt with anger and power issues with parents and replays them in the current relationship.

I have a right to everything I feel. “

 

 

 

Narcissist Says Don’t Spend Any Money!

Narcissist Says Don’t Spend Any Money!

  The narcissist moaned and complained about money since the day we met. This felt comfortable to me as I came from a poor background myself. When we first lived together we could not go out at the weekends as he told me 'we can't afford it.' I remember when the...

Verbal Abuse

Verbal Abuse

This was written on 30th July 2006 when the verbal abuse got even worse. When I think of it now I feel angry!  It was relentless. The sniggering, the eye rolling, the mimicking, the undermining, being called mad woman constantly.  I don't know how I survived it all! ...

Blaming Narcissist -If only YOU would have

Blaming Narcissist -If only YOU would have

In 2005 I was sick of taking the blame for the narcissists pathetic life. I was a verbal punch bag, taking the blame for all his weaknesses, failures, insecurities and everything else! He literally did NOTHING of his own volition. I was his verbal punchbag, mother,...

You Win!

You Win!

This was written in February 2007, I am telling the narcissist to communicate by letter and that I won't take anymore abuse. Of cource this was a waste of my writing time as the narcissist is never going to stop being a narcissist. "You win G! There is NO getting...

What A Normal Relationship Looks Like

What A Normal Relationship Looks Like

This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.  The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.  In short everything was missing. "Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is...

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