This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
Relationship
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
Narcissist Says Don’t Spend Any Money!
The narcissist moaned and complained about money since the day we met. This felt comfortable to me as I came from a poor background myself. When we first lived together we could not go out at the weekends as he told me 'we can't afford it.' I remember when the...
Verbal Abuse
This was written on 30th July 2006 when the verbal abuse got even worse. When I think of it now I feel angry! It was relentless. The sniggering, the eye rolling, the mimicking, the undermining, being called mad woman constantly. I don't know how I survived it all! ...
Blaming Narcissist -If only YOU would have
In 2005 I was sick of taking the blame for the narcissists pathetic life. I was a verbal punch bag, taking the blame for all his weaknesses, failures, insecurities and everything else! He literally did NOTHING of his own volition. I was his verbal punchbag, mother,...
The Narcissist Allegedly Welcomes Appointment With Counsellor
This letter from the narcissist tries to make out that he is so keen to work on the relationship. It is all massive lies and pretence. It is all part of the facade. When we attended counselling at 'Relate' the narcissist simply used it as a way of telling...
You Win!
This was written in February 2007, I am telling the narcissist to communicate by letter and that I won't take anymore abuse. Of cource this was a waste of my writing time as the narcissist is never going to stop being a narcissist. "You win G! There is NO getting...
Telling The Narcissist “I Feel Erased”. “I Don’t Exist To You.”
I wrote to the narcissist - "I feel erased. I don’t exist to you." The date I wrote this is not recorded. This explains how I felt living with the Gordon, the narcissist. At the time I did not know I was living with a fragile, vulnerable, covert narcissist. The...
