I wrote to the narcissist – “I feel erased. I don’t exist to you.” The date I wrote this is not recorded.
This explains how I felt living with the Gordon, the narcissist.
At the time I did not know I was living with a fragile, vulnerable, covert narcissist.
The drawing was made by my 3 year old daughter.
” I Can’t Get Through To You
You define my experiences and seem to fail to grasp that.
I am a person with my own reality.
I feel erased.
I don’t exist to you.
Trying to maintain a relationship with you leaves me exhausted and in mental anguish and emotional pain.
You don’t want to hear me, understand me, nor even WANT to understand me.
You have to be right.
You tell me what I think and who I am.
Imply I am mad when I don’t agree.
You feel attacked when asked a question.
You don’t seem to hear me.
You avoid responsibility.
You are unable to be straight with people.
The typical passive aggressive man has not dealt with anger and power issues with parents and replays them in the current relationship.
I have a right to everything I feel. “
Contradiction and Countering By The Narcissist
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My Story – The Early Years
I began writing a journal in 2003. I wanted to record my feelings and also the events leading up to the inevitable breakdown of my 27-year marriage to Gordon. I wanted my children to understand how hard I tried to fix the relationship and why, in the end, I could no...
Poor Me Face Rubbing
Gordon was a 'poor me' victim type of narcissist. He sighed, huffed and puffed and rubbed his face a lot. This gesture expressed his whole attitude to life! It's funny now but not at the time, it drove me mad and had such a detrimental effect on our family life and...
Living With The Negativity
One of the worst and damaging things about living with a narcissist was the cloud of negativity he lived under. He wanted to drive any enthusiasm and joie de vivre out of me. I was punished because, he told me, I had to be like HIM! Your content goes here. Edit or...
Devaluation By The Narcissist
The worst part of living with Gordon was his devaluation of me. He treated me with contempt. I did not exist to him as a person with feelings, emotions, and human needs. He did not actually 'see' me. The journal I wrote in 2003 describes what it felt like...
Why Narcissists Have No Empathy
Gordon has no empathy. Any demonstration of 'empathy' was false and used as facade management to fool people into thinking he is 'nice'. Sam Vakin calls this 'cold empathy' which means that the narcissist sees that you are reacting is a certain way and uses...
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