This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had. 

The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist. 

In short everything was missing. 

“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.

I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.

I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.

My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.

I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.

Relationship

I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).

Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.

How does a person show interest in things?

  1. Initiates a conversation about it.
  2. Read a book, magazine on the topic
  3. Find out information on it by talking, discussing.

How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?

  1. Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
  2. Talking to the person (not about work)
  3. Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
  4. Knowing what the other person likes and need first
  5. Saying …”How do you feel about”

I have given up doing all the above.

Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?

Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.

I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.

Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”

Letter From Debbie 1996

Letter From Debbie 1996

This is a letter from 1996 written by my sister Debbie who lived in Germany at the time.  The letter describes the situation that Helen and Barbara were living in and how worried she was about them. She and I went to social services and she actually asked to take care...

Facebook Conversation With My Sister

Facebook Conversation With My Sister

This thread shows a conversation with my narcissist sister. The thread demonstrated the lies, manipulation, grandiosity, sense of entitlement and delusions that narcissists use to attempt to control people. I reconnected with my sister in 2022 after 10 years as my...

How Do I Know My Sister Is A Narcissist

How Do I Know My Sister Is A Narcissist

Background My second to youngest sibling B, is eighteen years younger than me. I witnessed first hand how she was neglected by my narcissistic mother and violent narcissist father. She was born to the second group of siblings. I am the oldest of the first three, all...

Verbal Abuse I Received Daily from The Narcissist

Verbal Abuse I Received Daily from The Narcissist

Gordon started the verbal abuse, put down, undermining me, belittling me as soon as we met. I was used to being emotionally abused and ignored by my narcissistic parents so Gordon treated me in a manner which was familiar to me.  I met quite a lot of nice men but they...

Characteristics Of Narcissists and Non-Narcissists

Characteristics Of Narcissists and Non-Narcissists

Your content goes here. Edit or remove this text inline or in the module Content settings. You can also style every aspect of this content in the module Design settings and even apply custom CSS to this text in the module Advanced settings.Your content goes here. Edit...