Kumon Maths and the Narcissist
The narcissist called me ‘mad’ and ‘crazy’ and ‘mentally damaged ‘ and ‘fish wife’ and ‘battle axe,’ in front of the children.
He would laugh at me, mimic me, ridicule me, in front of them.
He would say things like, ‘even the kids know what you are like’ and ‘you’re not right, even the kids say so.’
He would say ‘even the kids say you are at the gym all the time’ and ‘even the kids say alls you do is……’
They never saw any examples of him being kind to me, caring about me in a way, appreciating me or any signs of affection. My children have never seen what a normal loving, supportive, co-operative relationship looks like.
The narcissist liked to undermine me and play the good guy, like a kindly uncle with the children to paint me as the bad mother who did mean things to them, like make them do maths.
The narcissist agreed with me that the children would benefit from extra maths. So I signed them up for Kumon Maths classes.
One of the criteria built in to the program was they they must do five minutes each day to reinforce the work and so progress little by little over time.
We went on holiday to Greece for 14 days.
I took the maths books and the children agreed that they would carry on doing Kumon Maths for just five minutes a day to keep the momentum going.
On the first morning the narcissist piped up with a laugh,
‘You’re not going to make them do maths are you? We are on holiday!’
I can remember him and the children sitting on the bed opposite me, him smirking at me with a supercilious grin and me stunned, feeling like an alien in my own family.
Stupidly I tried to reason with him. That just gave him more fuel.
Sadly the children agreed with him and I lost the battle.
He was more interested in winning than in what was best for the children.
I found this unbelievable at the time but not now. It makes complete sense knowing that he is a narcissist.
This video from HG Tudor- Knowing The Narcissist explains the mindset of the narcissist towards his offspring.
The narcissist admitted that he would not have had childen if it were not for me wanting them.
He told me once that I had never thanked him for being a sperm donor. He is truly sick!
The children were tools and weapons to him to gain fuel from me. He couldn’t care less about them.
I knew that I would be more or less a single parent and that all financially security for the children would depend on me.
A Study On Parental Alienation by University of Worcester
The University of Worcester conducted a study called "Coercive Control Of Woman as Mothers via Strategic Mother- Child Separation". The link to the study is here. The study looks at the behaviour of abusive men and their strategies to undermine the mothering role and...
Narcissistic Fathers Damage Their Children
These videos explain the effects of a narcissistic father on his children. It is important to realise what has happened to you and to understand how it affects the rest of your life and your relationships. The first video explains coercive control and how it works in...
Manipulation and Blackmail Using The Children
Gordon manipulates and blackmails me and the children for financial gain. On 20th January 2008 a year after the divorce was filed, Gordon is still arguing over the money. ‘50:50 or nothing’ he states which is why he refuses to release the money for the mortgage or...
