This was my attempt to describe the type of relationship I would have liked to have had.
The writing shows what was missing in the relationship with the Narcissist.
In short everything was missing.
“Forced with the prospect of 40 + years in this relationship is something I don’t want.
I have tried over the past five or so years to talk and explain but things seem to get in the way.
I feel not just today, but everyday a smile seems to make you think I feel good. But inside I’m miserable and have been for years.
My needs are not being met in my job, life, or marriage.
I have to decide if I can have them met within the present situation or things need changing drastically.
Relationship
I need someone who listens and understands, is interested in me, has enthusiasm for life and does things, shows me things sometimes, someone who shares responsibility for day to day running of things, nurturing the relationship, (emotionally taking care of the relationship).
Someone who can take charge of a situation occasionally without being pushed.
How does a person show interest in things?
- Initiates a conversation about it.
- Read a book, magazine on the topic
- Find out information on it by talking, discussing.
How does a person take care emotionally of a relationship?
- Outward signs of affection, touch, etc.
- Talking to the person (not about work)
- Taking the trouble to do things that the other person likes
- Knowing what the other person likes and need first
- Saying …”How do you feel about”
I have given up doing all the above.
Since I have stopped talking, have you noticed that no talking takes place?
Think back over the years, all the things I have done to keep the relationship going? You have not reciprocated so I’ve given up.
I feel like I am living with a wax dummy who only comes to life when work is discussed.
Why is it that you can phone up someone to do with work yet you can’t phone, write or get in contact with friends.”
When I Thought The Narcissist Has Passive Aggressive PD!
I came across a website about Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder which fitted the behaviours of Gordon perfectly! It was the 16th July 2006 It was a eureka moment for me! I felt validated and started to understand what PAPD was and that it is a well known type of...
Narcissist Wants Full Custody Of The Children
Gordon wants residency of the children so he is awarded most of the money by the court. Eighteen months after Gordon left for the final time in may 2006, he was still causing problems. He wanted as much money as he could get and was even prepared to 'apply for...
Smearing Lies Manipulation – The Narcissists Relatives
On the 4th February 2008, eighteen months after Gordon left he was still playing games of control and manipulation using the money that we had in the solicitors account. He used the children as weapons in his strategy and tried to get me to agree to half custody and...
Narcissist Manipulation Using His Children To Control
Gordon loved to use the children to manipulate and control me. The letter I wrote to him below shows an example of one of the ways he achieved this. During one of Gordons usual contact times their badminton coach had a spare session and asked if the children would...
Gordon’s Text Messages Flip Book
Gordon's Text Messages Flip BookRead More About Narcissism
The Narcissist Uses Children As Weapons Against Me
In 2006 the narcissist had finally left. I still had to have contact with him and, for the sake of the children I tried my best to make things easy and 'normal' but I was no longer willing to put up with abuse. Every time he collected or dropped the children back he...
