This letter written by the narcissist is full of lies, blame and contradictions. It is a fascinating insight into the mind of a narcissist as he tries to justify his abusive behaviour towards me. Apparently the narcissist wanted me to be more like him!

I know you don’t accept this but I did love you at the same time as wanting to change you.

Over the years and particularly after having D, I gradually realised that this was wrong and not possible anyway.

I honestly did not realise I was still trying to build power over you and change you.

I know this is another symptom of a passive aggressive person as you say it doesn’t matter if I intended it or not, it’s how you feel about my behaviour that’s important.

I am paying particular attention now to anything that might be considered as passive aggressive. If I seem hesitant when I am speaking to you, this is the reason.

Even what I consider ‘giving advice’ such as how to safely drive out of our drive, can be passive aggressive and a way of gaining control over you, if said in the wrong way.

You must know that I hate arguing and fighting with you and try to avoid it at all times. It particularly hurts the kids to see us fighting as you know.

I hope you believe I will do anything I can to benefit the kids and make you all happier.

I welcome the appointment with the RELATE COUNCELLOR. It’s probably the right time, now that the initial upset and agony of our separation has died down a little.

I sincerely hope we can meet constructively and benefit both the kids and ourselves.

I really will try my best to be positive and friendly.”