narcissist make you like them

This letter written by the narcissist is full of lies, blame and contradictions. It is a fascinating insight into the mind of a narcissist as he tries to justify his abusive behaviour towards me. Apparently the narcissist wanted me to be more like him!

Friday 4Th August 2006

“I have read your letter headed ‘verbal abuse’ and read all of the information that you provided twice. I believe I understand verbally abusive relationships.

I also understand that you have felt verbally abused by me over the years. And have always felt uncomfortable and unloved by me.

I am sorry I have made you feel that way.

In the early years of our relationship it seems I did think I could change you and it did manifest itself is thoughtless, hurtful criticism.

I suppose I wanted you to be more like ME!


I know you don’t accept this but I did love you at the same time as wanting to change you.

Over the years and particularly after having D, I gradually realised that this was wrong and not possible anyway.

I honestly did not realise I was still trying to build power over you and change you.

I know this is another symptom of a passive aggressive person as you say it doesn’t matter if I intended it or not, it’s how you feel about my behaviour that’s important.

I am paying particular attention now to anything that might be considered as passive aggressive. If I seem hesitant when I am speaking to you, this is the reason.

Even what I consider ‘giving advice’ such as how to safely drive out of our drive, can be passive aggressive and a way of gaining control over you, if said in the wrong way.

You must know that I hate arguing and fighting with you and try to avoid it at all times. It particularly hurts the kids to see us fighting as you know.

I hope you believe I will do anything I can to benefit the kids and make you all happier.

I welcome the appointment with the RELATE COUNCELLOR. It’s probably the right time, now that the initial upset and agony of our separation has died down a little.

I sincerely hope we can meet constructively and benefit both the kids and ourselves.

I really will try my best to be positive and friendly.”

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